JMSG’s Version of Character Day, the Science of Character, and What Bravery Means at Julia Morgan

Over 85,000 events in 121 countries were scheduled for the 3rd annual Character Day yesterday. It is a free annual day and global initiative where groups around the world screen films on the science of character development from different perspectives (including The Science of Character, The Adaptable Mind, and The Making of a Mensch), and some join an online global conversation around the importance of developing character strengths (resilience, grit, empathy, courage, kindness)–all rooted in evidence-based research.

As noted in the first Friday Letter, the international celebration of Character Day is one day, although JMSG will be highlighting one character strength each week at All School Meeting (ASM) throughout the school year. Eighth graders have the opportunity to choose a video, poem, or quote about character strength and share this with the student body.

In Families this past Wednesday, we played games focused on character strengths and watched this 8 minute video (http://www.letitripple.org/films/science-of-character/), followed by an art project. On Thursday the 6th and 7th graders, while the 8th graders were on their rafting overnight, gathered to participate in the live stream with Martin Seligman who is the Zellerbach Family Professor of Psychology and Director of the Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania. He is a best-selling author of several books, including Flourish. In 1996, Seligman was elected President of the American Psychological Association. His current mission is the attempt to transform social science to work on the best things in life – strengths, positive emotion, good relationships, meaning, and human flourishing.

At ASM this week, Claudia, who is in 8th grade, shared the character trait of bravery with this following quote: It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies but just as much to stand up to our friends. --JK Rowling

I shared my own thoughts on being brave and having courage in my opening talk with the girls the first day of school. Here are excerpts:

Here is what all of your teachers and all of the staff, every one of us, want for you this year, and we will be here to support you so that you can make it happen:

Be a leader by not minding that the girl next to you received a better score on a project or test. It takes courage to be happy for someone who does better than you, whether on a test, in class, or on the field.

If raising your hand in class is hard for you because you are shy or because you are afraid you won’t get the right answer, take that risk and raise your hand. Even if it is only once a week or so, that is the sign of a leader, that is courage.

If you always want to share your answers or opinions and you just LOVE to talk, take the positive risk of letting other girls speak. That is a sign of leadership, that is courage.

If you haven’t finished your homework and your friend tells you it’s OK to copy hers, instead talk with your teacher and ask for a bit more time. Take whatever consequence there is for not turning it in when it was due. That is courage and that is leadership, too. It takes courage to be honest. 

If you have an argument with a friend and you get home and want to text her something mean or text something that you know will hurt her feelings, or you want to post something even more hurtful, even if you feel hurt, take the positive risk to stop, to respect yourself. If you would not want me to read the post or text, don’t send it. If you don’t want me to hear what you have said to or about another girl, don’t say it. And know that I have seen copies of texts, instagrams, tweets and all the rest when girls have forgotten to be their best selves. Be courageous, try to be that leader in a world where we need more girls and more women to lead.

If you have a close group of friends, take the positive risk of asking someone you never talk to or never eat lunch with, and have lunch with her or invite her to join your group for lunch or have a conversation with her. That is a sign of leadership, that is courage.

And if you hear another girl who has forgotten at any moment to be her best self and she is spreading rumors or gossip or saying something unkind, if saying something to her to ask her to stop is too hard to do, then just quietly walk away. Don’t be a part of the ugliness. Walking away or saying something is true leadership and each of us knows what courage it takes to do that.

You each will have many opportunities this school year to define who you are and who you want to be. And all of us, every single one of us is here to help you do that.

Eighth graders, you hold the heart of the school in your hands. You have the choice to take the responsibility to lead this community to become one where being kind is the norm, where gossip is rare, where caring for girls and standing up for those who are not necessarily friends with you is something we can all choose to do: where you lead the way with your bravery to do the thing that you know is right.

How do you define bravery? Whether we ask our partners, colleagues, friends, adult family members or our children, this certainly should lead to interesting and inspiring conversations. Why not give it try?

We are here to support girls as they learn to make positive choices during a time in their lives when girls define and redefine themselves. As we adults know, our choices do reflect who we are and how we reflect our own light to the community around us. Let us partner in helping our girls on their own journeys to choose wisely and as Marcia often says, “to be their best selves.”

Wishing all a wonderful weekend, Sandra